Jesus opens a conversation with the disciple Peter as they eat breakfast by the Sea of Galilee after the resurrection. He knows Peter carries a load of guilt in his heart. Guilt is the feeling we have when we fail our own expectations of ourselves. Peter had sworn in front of everyone that he would be faithful to Jesus even if it meant death. But when the moment came, Peter caved. He had bravely gone to the trial but watched from a fire pit nearby. He was asked if he was not indeed one of Jesus’ friends and he denied three times knowing Jesus. He had failed himself and he was guilty. Shame is when we fail our community. Peter had not only failed to be the person he wanted to be but he had also failed to stand by Jesus in his hour of need. There was a roadblock in their relationship. Guilt and shame do that.
Most of us have made decisions that lead us down the wrong path. We have no one to blame but ourselves. The disciple Peter was guilty and carried a load of shame. Love drove him to the trial and fear led him to compromise. Now Jesus is risen and he comes to Peter to heal the relationship. Jesus helps Peter and gives the gift of presence but how is the air going to get clear to restore healthy relationship? Our past mistakes corrupt our present relationships.
We know this scenario and know the awkwardness of having to repair a broken relationship. Who goes first? How do we confess and repent? Jesus, after having breakfast with the disciples, turns to Peter and breaks the ice with a question in John 21: 15. “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” Jesus goes to the core of the issue. Love of self or love of God? Three times Jesus asks the question so there can be no mistake what Jesus is talking about. Peter answers, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you” twice. The third time Peter breaks and responds, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus does not give Peter a lecture but instead gives him a task, “Feed my sheep.”
Guilt is so heavy and forgiveness so hard to believe and receive. It is as the other puts trust in us that relationship begins to grow again, gets renewed and begins to strengthen. The skeletons in our closet seem to pop out and upset things at the oddest moments. One of the greatest gifts that Jesus in the resurrection gives us, is the gift of forgiveness. We know we have eternal forgiveness with God with whom we are promised to spend eternity – sin has been paid for, but we are also given the power to forgive others and ourselves.
Perhaps there is a weight you have been carrying around deep inside your soul. Forgiveness is not changing the past but leaving the past in God’s hands to give retribution and to allow him to continue directing our future in new ways because of the bad turns we made. Jesus does not want us to carry those past burdens but wants us to be good shepherds caring to the best of our ability for others he brings into our lives. Resurrection means we can have renewed life and relationships now. Blessings as you place your mistakes in the Shepherd’s hands.
On the Way to Wonder 