17 And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for your. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7: 17, The Message)
By chapter 7 of Paul’s first letter to the people of Corinth, Paul has presented his concerns about the fellowship there. He has heard rumors of their disunity and divisions into parties. He has heard rumors of sexual immorality that is not only being tolerated but boasted about. And he has heard of them taking their disagreements to a secular court that does not understand their value system. In chapter 7 he turns to answering their questions. All of chapter 7 deals with questions about marriage.
Paul supports marriage as a faithful relationship rather than sexual promiscuity. Paul also endorses singleness either for people who never marry or for people who have lost their spouse. He sees marriage or singleness as a gift from God. Watching the grass grow on the other side of the fence helps no one and only breeds discontentment and undermines a relationship with God.
Paul next talks about “mixed marriages,” not ethnically or religiously mixed but philosophically mixed. One is a believer and one is not. He advises that if the unbeliever wants to stay with the believing spouse then they should stay together. The relationship protects the children and may indeed help bring the unbeliever to faith. On the other hand, if the unbeliever wants to leave then the believer should release the other. We are called to peace, not slavery in relationships. Paul does not encourage “sequential polygamy” as practiced in the West that practices jumping from one marriage to another, divorcing one to move to another. Polygamist men add wives but theoretically care for all the women and children. He advises staying single if marriage does not work out. God can use us wherever we are and he is with us. God is our foundation and we are his temple as he reminded us at the start of his letter.
Certainly this chapter challenges some of our Western thinking and practices. We like to think we are free to choose our future and choose the character of our relationships. It is easy to convince ourselves that we need not feel uncomfortable emotionally. That is not to condone true abuse and cruelty but it is to acknowledge that relationships with others and with God requires work. We do not always get our way. Working through differences is hard. Admitting we are wrong, saying “sorry,” and humbling ourselves is tough. Perhaps the challenge we need to reflect on is to acknowledge that God is our foundation for any relationship and God is always present and willing to work with us. We are his temple and we have the Holy Spirit to call on when the stress seems intolerable. Lord, help us develop staying power for the rough times. Give us understanding hearts that are willing to look at the other’s point of view. Do I need to ask for help today in any of my relationships? Lord, may our relationships honor you!
On the Way to Wonder 