On the Way to Wonder

We end week two of Lent and the report of the Garden of Gethsemane concludes, not with all the talk of loyalty by the disciples but with the picture of a young man who was with the disciples fleeing naked when he is grabbed by the mob.  He leaves his linen cloth in their hands and flees this world become chaos, as naked as the day he was born!  Mark 14:50-52.

         A nameless woman has anointed Jesus for his death.  A nameless innkeeper has shared his upper room in preparation for the Passover, the death of the Paschal lamb.  Judas Iscariot, a named friend, has betrayed Jesus – with a kiss.  And Peter who loudly proclaimed loyalty is balancing on the edge of denial.  But this nameless young man with only his clothes to cover him, leaves even that when put to the test.  He has not even a name to identify him, just his bare behind.  We do indeed have a sad cast of characters.

         This reminds me of a hymn made famous by Christian spiritual crusades, “Just As I Am.”  People rather than fleeing naked in the awareness of their sins, sing this hymn as they go forward.  It was written by Charlotte Elliot in 1836.  Her brother was planning a charity bazaar to raise money to send daughters of clergymen for higher education.  The night before the bazar Charlotte had a rough night plagued by her own uselessness.  The next day she took pen and ink to write down in verse the realities of her faith, “the formulae of her faith.”  She was “naming and claiming” the naked truth of the Gospel.  She focused on the Lord, His power and His promises, not her weakness.  She focused on a Gospel that promised pardon, peace, and heaven.  Just as I am…I come to thee.

Betrayal comes in many forms.  Merriam-Webster defines betrayal as the “violation of a person’s trust or confidence, of a moral standard.”  The word betrayal is a word we are throwing around in the public arena these days as we discuss expectations based on vows, promises, and resulting consequences arising from actions of leadership.  The anger and hurt generated is not unlike when a man tells a woman he loves her as often, whether spoken or notm is the question of commitment to relationship and expectations hidden in the heart.  When we buy an expensive item, often it comes with a warranty because there is an expectation of quality and failure brings a sense of betrayal.  Deep guilt and hurt may follow anytime word are not followed by actions consistent with our expectations.

         Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve disciples, one of the “friends” of Jesus, has agreed to point out Jesus to the mob that follow him to the Garden – by kissing Jesus. (Mark 14: 43-49)  An act of intimacy becomes an act of betrayal.  So painful! Later Peter will betray Jesus because of fear, denying he knows Jesus.  One is a deliberate deception and the other is cowardly deception.  Both result in the break of relationship and guilt for the person.  Trust is broken.  Moral expectations are violated.  Failure.

         Most of us would deny a plotted betrayal of a relationship.  But perhaps we cringe remembering the “Mom, you’re late…again!” comment of our children when we were late for the agreed upon time for meeting.  We might remember having to put off paying a bill because funds were short – next month we will fulfill our promise to pay.  Of course there is that tidbit of gossip we just could not resist sharing. In many ways we often fall short of the moral standards we set for ourselves and hurt someone we care about.  We side with the “mob” and not with the friend.  We want to be a person of integrity and a faithful friend but…

         Perhaps our devotional today is not very cozy emotionally as our conscience is pricked remembering ours and other’s failures in our life.  If something comes to mind, now is a good time to confess and seek forgiveness.  Because we fail our expectations does not necessarily mean we will always fail nor that we are a failure.  But failure, here in the form of betrayal, does call us to repentance and renewal to become our better selves with Christ’s help. Lord, may we be faithful in our relationships with your help, always seeking the good of the other.  Amen.

Let’s look closer.  Mark 14:35-36 takes us to not just another Jesus prayer but gives us a glimpse at a holistic praying of the Lord’s Prayer, suggests Walter Wangerin Jr in his book Reliving the Passion.  That caught my interest.  At age six or seven I knelt beside my mother’s bed and she taught us the Lord’s Prayer.  When my children were six, I started teaching them by leaving out a word here and there and they would fill in more and more blank spaces.  At church we pray the Lord’s Prayer every Sunday.  In the Garden, Wangerin suggests, we see Jesus not just praying the Lord’s Prayer but also living into the prayer.  His body, emotions, desires, and actions embody and express the prayer he taught us.

         “And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.  And he said, “Abba,  Father, all things are possible to thee, remove this cup from me, yet not what I will but what thou wilt.”

In his hour of need, Jesus did not formally approach God with “Our Father who art in heave,” but I would imagine cried, perhaps moaned, may have even yelled, “Abba, Father.”  “Daddy.”  Prayer is relationship not formal ritual.  He continues, “If it is possible, may the hour pass from me,” and  “let this cup pass.”  In other words, save me from the hour of trial, deliver me from evil.  He realizes he could not go through the events without relationship with God, without support.  He cries for help.  Then, he ends his prayer with not his will, but God’s be done.  He prays that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Jesus has been preaching that the kingdom of heaven is near but now he acknowledges that it is time for God’s kingdom to come to earth in the defeat of Satan and death.  “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.” 

         Often in times of great stress when words will not come, those prayers that we have been taught give voice to the drama and trauma of the situation we find ourselves living.  Calling to God as “Daddy” or perhaps “Beloved” if male language is hard, reminds us we are not alone.  “If it is possible,” reminds us that we have choice to obey.  We are not robots.  And praying for the coming kingdom takes us beyond ourselves to the larger picture of life.  Lent reminds us that we are in a struggle that ushers in the kingdom of heaven.

         We may feel like we are in the Garden of Gethsemane right now as we sit by the side of a sick loved one, as we deal with unemployment or struggle to supervise our children doing school at home.  It may feel like the Dark Night of the Soul but may we never forget and always remember we can call out to Abba and the Holy Spirit interprets our prayers when we have no words.  God hears and strengthens us for trials.  Thank you, Lord.

Mark 14:32-42, Jesus and disciples reach the Garden of Gethsemane and Jesus takes Peter, James and John aside to pray.  Exhausted, the disciples fall asleep but Jesus labors in prayer.  He knows what he is about to face.  Perhaps it is in the anticipation of an event when we struggle the most.  In studying transition, Dave Pollock called it “the work of worry.”  The work of worry precedes a big move.  What will happen to the dog?  By when must we sell the house?  The work of worry precedes the wedding.  We develop the invitation list, plan for outfits, order cakes and so much more.  Even worry precedes a funeral.  Will I be able to control my grief?  The work of worry is important, even for children, and helps us go from one phase in life to the next.   It often seems that once we have done the work of worry that then adrenaline kicks in and we are able to walk into the unknowns of the future.

         The disciples handle all this talk about betrayal by going to sleep.  Perhaps their conscious mind is overwhelmed and possibly the disciples are just exhausted but sleep is one way we cope with stress.  Withdrawing deep inside ourselves seems to be a way of summoning courage.  Denial is another form – it really won’t be so bad.  Jesus, on the other hand, turns to prayer.  We see him wrestling with the Father and pleading for an alternative.  Finally  the wrestle is over.  “Not my will, but thine be done,” he prays to the Father.  Submitting to “a higher authority” does not make the resulting experience beautiful but it allows trust and a certain peace to carry you through.

         I went to the doctor who said I needed to have an operation.  When I climbed in the car my husband asked and I shared.  What would bring me peace he asked.  I said I’d like it if I could get a fax from heaven, perhaps a Bible verse, and if I could talk to someone who had the operation.  The next morning he read the normal reading and asked if I got my verse.  I had.  In the reading was the passage, if a piece of your body offends you, cut it off.  Operations are ok.  That was not the intent of the verse but it spoke to my situation.  Then I went to my meeting and every person in the room had had the operation or knew someone who had and gave superlative affirmations about the value of the operation.  The women would bring meals over for my family during the recovery time!  Wow!  I was at peace.  The work of worry stopped.  Jesus took three disciples and went and prayed, wrestling with the Father.  Once he was convinced, he was ready to face the mob.

         Perhaps there is an issue you are struggling with now, something for which you need advice.  That’s ok.  Are there trusted friends?  Have you committed it to prayer?  One of the assurances of Lent is that as we face our sinfulness, our weakness and tendency to fall short, God knows and walks with us.  It is possible to find peace in the midst of trauma.  Blessings as you go to your Garden of Gethsemane today to do the work of worry with God!

Mark now leaves the Upper Room and records the disciples walking with Jesus to the Garden of Gethsemane, to the Mount of Olives.  Mark 14: 26-31.  The author has not stopped talking about betrayal.  He tells us about Judas plotting with the chief priests.  He tells us about Jesus warning Judas at supper as they eat.  Jesus continues to predict as they walk, “You will all fall away!”  These words ring through history with a truth we like to deny, as Peter did, in our modern self-centered world.  We try to prevent failure on all fronts of our lives.  We wear masks, invent vaccines, zoom church services, lay out Bible reading strategies, and often surround ourselves with like minded people.  It is possible to become insulated in our daily routines and become spiritually overconfident and lazy.

         Peter sees himself as loyal, brave, and committed so denies the reality that he could fall away.  Not me! Is his cry.  What is the gum, the glue in relationship?  Lent and the Passion story confronts us with the ugly truth that all my piety, all my good intentions, all my beautiful mountain top experiences will not erase my human weaknesses.  What keeps me in relationship with God is not my goodness but his faithfulness.  My life is in God’s hand and he faithfully holds me and reaches out to me, even knowing I am a sinner, even knowing what lies in tomorrow, even knowing I will stumble and fall.  Pretty humbling.

         Like Peter we pledge to be loyal unto death but perhaps our prayer should be, Lord help me be faithful unto death – help.  Are there areas in your life today where you want to be faithful and not fall away?  Perhaps we would be wise today to review our spiritual armor and seek God’s help in using it.  The helmet of salvation protects our thoughts.  The belt of truth helps us be honest and wise.  The breastplate of Christ’s righteousness guards our hearts.  It is not us but he who is righteous!  May we have feet wearing shoes for peace not vengeance.  The shield of faith wards off the darts of lies from the enemy.  And of course we need the sword of the Spirit of God, the word of God, for we are weak.  We will fall away more than once.  There will be dark days.  But Jesus is faithful and walks with us during those dark times.  May we hold on to that truth and know that we can always return for his arms are open and he is praying for us.  Thank you, Lord.

Continuing to the next verse, after Judas is confronted with his betrayal, his sin, Mark 14:22-25 continues the report telling how Jesus, “as they were eating,” knowing what was unfolding, and the horrors before him, takes bread and wine and institutes communion.  Interesting.  In the midst of drama, Jesus transforms the ordinary into means of receiving grace.  The ordinary bread of a meal becomes his body.  The ordinary wine or drink of the meal becomes his “blood of the covenant.”  We are charged to “remember.”

         Theologians have debated the exact meaning of this and denominations have formed.  Many consider this sacramental while others consider it a ritual of remembrance.  Anthropologists call it a ritual of intensification.  I will leave it for theologians to sort that out, but I would rather focus on the truth that in the midst of trauma, when we feel so unworthy, when we are so guilty, God reaches into our life and offers forgiveness and blessing – grace.  Communion was given in the midst of political drama, religious drama, and friendship drama.  Jesus charged his disciples to remember, not because they were being so good and being rewarded for their wonderfulness but were being given a way to transform ugliness into grace as in the ordinary elements in our hands we remember Christ’s presence with us.  A beautiful sunset or sunrise breaks across the sky and for a moment we commune.  We sit by the bedside of a sleeping child and realize we are blessed.  We receive a card in the mail from a distant friend and we are connected.

         Many ridicule Christianity as a promise for eternal bliss while putting on blinders to the trauma of this world.  We are accused of avoiding life.  Lent takes us into the trauma of life and reminds us of God’s presence even as, like Judas, we are plotting betrayal, or like Peter we are bobbling between false courage and real flight, or we are like the disciple who fled naked.  While we are sinners, Christ gave us communion and the ordinary bread and wine remind us of his covenant, his faithful love to us, to bless us.  Remember!

         As we go about today, may our eyes be open to God’s presence in the ordinary, may we hear the song of grace in the background, and may we touch the “other” with the love that we have been blessed with – in the midst of our journey.  Remember Christ’s commitment to you! Blessings.

It is now Thursday evening and the Passover meal in the Upper Room.  Mark skips the foot washing and goes straight to the meal where Jesus says openly, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me – one who is eating with me.”  Does God’s foreknowledge, his understanding of history and of our nature, predetermine that we must sin?  That is a question theologians have debated for centuries.  And I would suspect that we ordinary people do too.  That cake just jumped into my mouth.  I couldn’t help myself.  My family is alcoholics and I love drink.  We present this sense of fatalism and in essence dismiss our responsibility.  But Walter Wangerin Jr suggests that this confrontation of Judas and later Peter, forewarning them of what is about to happen, is really a three-fold gift. 

         God’s understanding of our nature and our weaknesses is a gift of knowledge, acknowledges our free will and leaves the responsibility of our actions on us.  Judas now knows that Jesus knows what is going on “stealthily” and Jesus has named it – “betrayal,” sin.  Even as Judas is eating with Jesus and acting like a friend, Jesus is the true friend telling the truth.  When I trained to be a chaplain, my teacher said, “The best gift you can give the patient is to be a true mirror.”

         Jesus does not force Judas to betray him and gives him now the chance to reconsider his actions and turn.  Jesus acknowledges Judas’ free will.  Knowing is not doing.  Realizing how angry I am is not sin as anger is an honest response to offense or grief but it is when I pull the trigger and carry that anger to action that sin enters.  Judas now has choice and voice.

         Thirdly Judas now assumes full responsibility for his action.  Jesus has given him an out.  Judas could confess and repent, but he didn’t.  Even after the deed he could ask for forgiveness, but he didn’t.  No one forces us to eat too much, drink too much, or hurt our friend.  “The devil made me do” seldom is a sufficient or satisfactory excuse. 

         The Lenten journey is heavy as we realize that God knows, we have free will, and we are responsible for our sins.  Likewise we are faced with the truth that God still offers us forgiveness, we are not robots, and we are valued “friends” given responsibility.  As we go to church tomorrow we will hear the Abraham Covenant – the promise made to Abraham over a 25-year period that God’s plan is to bless him to be a blessing.  That is still God’s plan for Lent – to bless us with knowledge, choice and responsibility.  Thank you Lord that I am not a robot but your “friend.”

In honor of Black History month, I offer as my Saturday hymn the first recorded spiritual,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T8qwVjfvms, the famous song  “Were You There.”

Day Nine of Lent

Mark 14: 12-16, it is the day before Passover, Thursday of Holy Week, and preparations for eating the lamb are underway in many houses.  But Jesus is a “wanted” person.  He is wanted by religious leaders to kill him.  He is wanted by some of the common people for healing.  His own group includes a traitor, Judas Iscariot who has joined with the religious hierarchy.  Tension is mounting.  Where will he celebrate the Passover? 

         Jesus sends two disciples into Jerusalem to look for a man, not a woman (and what is that about?) carrying water.  They are to follow him to a home where the owner will show them an upper room already prepared.  The owner has already anticipated the need or been alerted and is willing to welcome Jesus and the disciples into his home.  Like the unnamed woman who anointed Jesus’ head, this owner has no name either. His actions will define him too and this evening will be remembered.

         In the first 16 verses of chapter 14, two nameless people have shown love to Jesus, not come begging for a healing, an exorcism or a favor. Their actions, their generosity remind us who they are.  I am challenged by these nameless people to ponder my actions and their motives. In Kenya I was never called by my name as that was socially inappropriate.  A name has power.  At the dispensary when asking a patient her name, she would turn to her neighbor and ask her to tell us!  These two people are nameless also.  I doubt history will remember my name but possibly my grandchildren will?   Returning to the States, the bank teller would address me by a shortened version of my name and yet I did not know him while Kenyan friends just addressed me as “mother of ….”  It is easy to be a friend when there is no cost but another thing to be a friend during hard times.  “Actions speak louder than words.” 

         Perhaps today we might reflect on how our actions define us.  Like the servant, are we willing to look silly carrying a jug of water like a woman?  Like the owner of the upper room, are we willing to share our wealth?  Let us take a few minutes and think whom we might bless.  Perhaps there is someone you could send a postcard of appreciation to or a deed of kindness that is unexpected.  Someone in your world needs the affirmation of love acted out.

         The two disciples do as Jesus instructed.  They went to town and there was a man carrying water.  The man did lead them to a home with an upstairs room.  The owner was not surprised at their request as the room was furnished and ready.  All the disciples had to do was get things ready for Jesus.  All we need to do is get things ready for Jesus to do his thing!  Blessings as you help today, even if I don’t know your name.  God does! 

We are still pondering Mark 14 and how the author sets the scene and the plot to the Passion story.  It’s two days before Passover, a big holiday.  The religious leaders are looking for a stealthy way to arrest Jesus because they don’t want a demonstration.  Jesus is staying with friends just outside Jerusalem where an unnamed woman shows deep devotion, anointing his head with perfume.  Up to now we have seen squabbles within the disciples over who should be first, just what the plan is, but nothing divisive.  Mark 14:10-11 tells us that in the wake of the shock of Jesus defending this woman and the extravagant waste of money, Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, the keeper of the money, goes to the chief priests to betray Jesus.

No more scene setting, it is time for the cameras to roll and events are put in motion.

         Why would someone who has seen so much of what Jesus has done and who knows whom Jesus is, set his heart to betray his friend?  History has debated the motive for the act.  We too look for cause when something goes wrong, where does the blame lie?  Shall we form a commission to investigate?  Who shall we call for witnesses on either side?  We are watching this process unfold in our government as we deal with the Capitol demonstration turn riot turn insurrection.  Why did this go wrong and what were the intentions?  How could Judas abuse his power and trust?  Different theories have been offered – was Judas offended by Jesus’ generosity because as the keeper of the money, he “borrowed?”  More recently we wonder if Judas was just trying to force/encourage Jesus to make his move to power.  Mark gives no comment or insight.  The motive is not important.  Often we do not know what went wrong.  Having done everything right, a diagnosis of cancer comes.  Having followed the rules, our car slides on the ice and great damage results.  Having masked and distanced, some still gets the virus.

         Ultimately “who dun it” does not reverse the event, no amount of money replaces the life, and revenge while sweet for the moment does not erase the memory.  During Lent we remember we are dust and bad things happen, bad things happen to good people.  The “justification”, finding the cause, of the “evil” may not be as important as the spiritual justification that comes from forgiveness given as we honestly confess the evil we have done.  Judas Iscariot and Peter both betray Jesus as we shall see and both are terribly repentant but one commits suicide from guilt and the other finds forgiveness.

         We talk about those “skeletons in our closet,” those actions that we hide and just cannot come to peace with.  Perhaps understanding why we did those things of the past is not as important as being forgiven.  Judas reminds us today that we are dust and we do sin for whatever reason.  As hard as we try, we fall short.  We’re not perfect.  Take a few minutes to examine your heart today to see if there is not a need to confess, a broken relationship that needs healing, or a wrong that could be righted.  Sometimes just journaling if the person has passed, helps.  Guilt from the past need not taint the events of today.  We will see as the Lent story continues to unfold that forgiveness and love are available.  There is hope as we are honest.  Blessings.